eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Michael Bay diarrhea
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
