To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Randomize