So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
