Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
