Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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