if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize