she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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