i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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