No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You had me at "let me see your balls"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
