do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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