Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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