OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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