Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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