Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
