You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize