Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
