How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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