It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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