didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
birth control should be required to get into college
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
