I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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