id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
