Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
