there was a trapeze. enough said
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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