If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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