My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
