No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
