I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize