I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
