Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
