I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
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