He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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