i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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