I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
