was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I came so hard my ears popped.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
