Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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