You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm passing your future prison.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
