Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
