and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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