No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's always time for handjobs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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