i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You made out with two different species that night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
