You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the condom got lost in my hair
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
