I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
