I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
