Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
