So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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