She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
