What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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