she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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