Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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