yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
