The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They took my balls.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
