just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
