I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
