are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
