Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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