"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
