What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
