all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
