i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so that wasnt chicken after all
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
