you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This is my gift to your gina
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
